Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Fire + Water

Ok I know I said I would have a review of the rest of the first few fall episodes of Lost but I haven't yet. So what? Instad I have a really cool list I found it is the top TV catch phrases of all time. Some I agree with some not so much. Seewhat you think. Oh and they are listed alphabetical which yu woud have figured out sooner or later anywho but I figured I'd tell you first.

Aaay (Fonzie, "Happy Days")
And that's the way it is (Walter Cronkite, "CBS Evening News")
Ask not what your country can do for you ... (John F. Kennedy)
Baby, you're the greatest (Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden, "The Honeymooners")
Bam! (Emeril Lagasse, "Emeril Live")
Book 'em, Danno (Steve McGarrett, "Hawaii Five-O")
Come on down!(Johnny Olson, "The Price is Right")
Danger, Will Robinson (Robot, "Lost in Space")
De plane! De plane! (Tattoo, "Fantasy Island")
Denny Crane (Denny Crane, Boston Legal")
Do you believe in miracles?(Al Michaels, 1980 Winter Olympics

D'oh! (Homer Simpson, "The Simpsons")
Don't make me angry ... (David Banner, "The Incredible Hulk")
Dyn-o-mite (J.J., "Good Times")
Elizabeth, I'm coming!(Fred Sanford, "Sanford and Son")
Gee, Mrs. Cleaver ...(Eddie Haskell, "Leave it to Beaver")
God'll get you for that(Maude, "Maude")
Good grief" (Charlie Brown, Peanuts" specials)
Good night, and good luck (Edward R. Murrow, "See It Now")
Good night, John Boy ("The Waltons")
Have you no sense of decency? (Joseph Welch to Sen. McCarthy)
Heh heh (Beavis and Butt-head, "Beavis and Butthead")
Here it is, your moment of Zen" (Jon Stewart "The Daily Show")
Here's Johnny! ( Ed McMahon"The Tonight Show")
Hey now!(Hank Kingsley, "The Larry Sanders Show")
Hey hey hey! (Dwayne Nelson, "What's Happening!!")
Hey hey hey! (Fat Albert, "Fat Albert")
Holy (whatever), Batman! (Robin, "Batman")
Holy crap!(Frank Barone, "Everybody Loves Raymond")
Homey don't play that! (Homey the Clown, "In Living Color")
How sweet it is! (Jackie Gleason, "The Jackie Gleason Show")
How you doin'? (Joey Tribbiani, "Friends")
I can't believe I ate the whole thing (Alka Seltzer ad)
I know nothing! (Sgt. Schultz, "Hogan's Heroes")
I love it when a plan comes together (Hannibal, "The A-Team")
I want my MTV!(MTV ad)
I'm Larry, this is my brother Darryl ... (Larry, "Newhart")
I'm not a crook ..." ( Richard Nixon' )

I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV (Vicks Formula 44 ad)
I'm Rick James, bitch! (Dave Chappelle as Rick James, "Chappelle's Show")
Is that your final answer?" ( Regis Philbin"Who Wants to Be a Millionaire")
It keeps going and going and going ... (Energizer Batteries ad)
It takes a licking ...(Timex ad)
Jane, you ignorant slut" ( Dan Aykroyd "Saturday Night Live")
Just one more thing ... (Columbo, "Columbo")
Let's be careful out there (Sgt. Esterhaus, "Hill Street Blues")
Let's get ready to rumble!(Michael Buffer, various sports events)
Live long and prosper(Spock, "Star Trek")
Makin' whoopie (Bob Eubanks, "The Newlywed Game")
Mom always liked you best (Tommy Smothers, "The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour")
Never assume ... (Felix Unger, "The Odd Couple")
Nip it! (Barney Fife, "The Andy Show")
No soup for you! (The Soup Nazi, "Seinfeld")
Norm! ("Cheers")
Now cut that out! (Jack Benny, "The Jack Benny Program")
Oh, my God! They killed Kenny! (Stan and Kyle, "South Park")
Oh, my nose! (Marcia Brady, "The Brady Bunch")
One small step for man ... (Neil Armstrong)
Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?(Grey Poupon ad)
Read my lips: No new taxes! (George H.W. Bush)
Resistance is futile (Picard as Borg, "Star Trek: The Next Generation")
Say good night, Gracie (George Burns, "The Burns & Allen Show")
Schwing!( Mike Myers "Saturday Night Live")
Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy (Lloyd Bentsen)

Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids (Trix cereal ad)
Smile, you're on `Candid Camera' ("Candid Camera")
Sock it to me("Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In")
Space, the final frontier ... (Capt. Kirk, "Star Trek")
Stifle! (Archie Bunker, "All in the Family")
Suit up (Barney Stinson, "How I Met Your Mother")
Tastes great! Less filling! (Miller Lite beer ad)
Tell me what you don't like about yourself (Dr. McNamara and Dr. Troy, "Nip/Tuck")
That's hot" ( Paris Hilton "The Simple Life")
The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat (Jim McKay, "ABC's Wide World of Sports")
The tribe has spoken(Jeff Probst, "Survivor")
The truth is out there(Fox Mulder, "The X-Files")
This is the city ... (Sgt. Joe Friday, "Dragnet")
Time to make the donuts ("Dunkin' Donuts" ad)
Two thumbs up(Siskel & Ebert, "Siskel & Ebert")
Up your nose with a rubber hose (Vinnie Barbarino, "Welcome Back, Kotter")
We are two wild and crazy guys! ( Steve Martin and Dan Aykroyd as Czech playboys, "Saturday Night Live")
Welcome to the O.C., bitch (Luke, "The O.C.")
Well, isn't that special?(Dana Carvey as the Church Lady, "Saturday Night Live")
We've got a really big show! (Ed Sullivan, "The Ed Sullivan Show")
Whassup? (Budweiser ad)
What you see is what you get! (Geraldine, "The Flip Wilson Show")
Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis? (Arnold Drummond, "Diff'rent Strokes")
Where's the beef? (Wendy's ad)
Who loves you, baby?(Kojak, "Kojak")
Would you believe?(Maxwell Smart, "Get Smart")
Yabba dabba do!(Fred Flintstone, "The Flintstones")
Yada, yada, yada("Seinfeld")
Yeah, that's the ticket( Jon Lovitz' as the pathological liar, "Saturday Night Live")
You eeeediot! (Ren, "Ren & Stimpy")
You look mahvelous!" ( Billy Crystal as Fernando, "Saturday Night Live")
You rang?(Lurch, "The Addams Family")
You're fired! (Donald Trump, "The Apprentice")
You've got spunk ...(Lou Grant, "The Mary Taylor Moore Show)


How many do yo remember?

Monday, November 20, 2006

Rockin' In The Free World 11/17/06 U-Jam

Wow this would have been awesome to see live but probably even better 15 years ago!
Star of Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving all! Gobble Gobble till you wobble!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The Hunting Party


Figuring Shit Out

It's a simple fact of life that because we eat, we shit. The act of consumption and the act of defecation are indelibly linked to the whole (no pun intended) of any living organism. In the normal context, we humans are corpse eaters. We digest the dead into its base components for sustenance, and once those base components have been stripped of any caloric/nutritional value whatsoever, those components are ejected from our bodies. In some cultures, the ritualistic eating of one's enemies was meant to give the eater that enemy's strength, both physically and spiritually. Christ was very aware of the practice of cannibalism, and, in an effort to avoid being consumed by his brethren, invented Communion (it wouldn't do to wind up in Heaven with bite marks, now would it?). Our bodies make shit out of the once living. Our bodies serve to create vulgar masterpieces, and there are only two senses required in the art. In the symbolic context, everything living consumes with all their functioning senses. Each sense, if functioning as designed, devours the raw material of everyday life and existence, digests it in the brain, and the end result is just a prettier form of shit delivered by thought, speech, pencil, keystroke, brush, hammer blow, or gesture; fertilizer for the observer, reader, sufferer, lover or patron on which to grow and survive. At this juncture shit becomes tolerable, manageable, palatable. It might even be referred to as "good shit," though in practice the term "good shit" would seem a contradiction of terms.

Now that's some hot shit... or is it?I've always had a problem with someone that says something "tastes like shit." I assume what the person saying the phrase really means is that something smells the way he/she imagines shit tastes. The reason humanity developed a sense of smell was to avoid eating something infested with the bacteria of rot and decay. Perhaps one of our distant ancestors ate a piece of bad fruit and got the shits, so the primordial brain wiring got together and said "You know, if we could sniff out the bad stuff we could avoid all that cramping and the green apple two-step, and we won't lose all that ass hair from the constant wiping," so it was in the organism's best interests to not only sharpen the olfactory sense, but hotwire it to the gag reflex. I reckon the reason human-kind managed to survive its early history was because of its ability to eat damned near anything, and damned near anything also included carrion as well as veggies. Thank God for gas grills and electric can openers, eh? Now, if I could only understand how farts figure into the scheme of life.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Somethings wrong with Kate

Pee drinker and strap on wearer extroidinare
Close to Burnout!

RIP Jack

Sunday, November 12, 2006

The 23rd Psalm


Well here we are, only six weeks into the new season of Lost and we have a 13 week hiatus. Now let me tell you this past Wednesday night I was all ready to watch the last episode I would ever watch of Lost. Well, I was woefully wrong. The one thing the produces and writers have done (aside from pissing off a lot of viewers as well as loosing some as well) is make a show that for some reason or ... eh-hem... "other" is watched on the edge of your seat (hey, we'll sell you the whole thing but you'll only need the edge!). So, let's recap what we have found out or not found out so far this season ... well not a whole lot actually. In the first episode we are given our "holy shit this made waiting the entire summer worth it" moment. The others live on the island in a little utopian society and we see the plane crash. Remember this season is titled the season of the others. Meaning they will become a larger story line if not the forefront of most story lines. So who is Henry/Ben (we'll call him Benry) to Juliette (we'll call her the hot chick)? What did they do to K/S/J? Why do they all have bandaids on their arms? To knock them out? Blood tests? Truth serum?
Is Tom/Mr.Friendly gay? To Kate: "You're not my type." Maybe not even human? Can we trust Juliette, even is she is hot? Maybe not. The second episode, we find out Jin isn't a murderer but Sun most definitely is. And for a war veteran Sayid comes up with some crappy ideas sometimes. Yeah let's dock where you know they have been recently and use the boat as bait and then wait for them in the jungle far away from the boat and also far away from the pregnant woman. Good plan. Back to the cages, exactly what do they have Kate and Sawyer doing? My guess is it's just hard labor to keep them busy and tired. Fisrt episode was ok I give it a 8 if it's in the middle of the season but considering I had to wait 13 weeks for it I drop it to a 7. Second episode was no better, this one only gets a 6 for me, possibly the worst episode of the short fall season. Now episdoe 3, the Locke episode and yes, I know we have had different points of view on this one. Some hated it I loved it, I give it easily an 8. Some thoughts on the episode; Why couldn't Locke talk? So after taking some of his hooka paste he goes on some sort of a vision quest with the spirit of Boone. It must be bad so far this season, I was glad to see Boone! Ok on to the vision quest, Boone tells us that Claire, Charlie, and Aaron will be ok for a while, when he sees K/J/S he says you can't help them ... yet. Guess he means he is going to help them, at least at some point, aparently in the last 2/3's of the season. So Locke has to clean up his mess, meaning Eko, hmmm, this could be an odd sort of thing to say, more on this later. Big revelation comes when we find out Desmond can see or has seen the future. A la the Philadelphia experiment. Ahh at the end of episode 3 we meet Nikki and Paulo or as I like to call them "fodder for the death mill". I don't wanna get out my soap box, ok I guess I do. I do not and will not accept these two new characters. Here we are supposedly sixty some days into this story and all of a sudden the writers say "oh yeah, we are running out of characters to give story to so here's two new people who have been here the whole time we just didn't tell you about them yet", bullshit! Now I'm not usually a purist but I don't accept this. It's a cop out and in fact they could have used Rose and Bernard for these parts so far this season, so why do we need new characters? I can't imagine there is a real good reason for it, guess we will see but I can't see me accepting them any time soon. Even if Nikki does have a nice rack. Even as the episode ends we se Desmond throwing rocks out to sea looking worried (?) and/or crazed (?). Probably about the direction this show is taking. Get the shark out I think they are about to jump. More recap and some thoughts on the rest of this "story arc" as the writers have called it tomorrow. Everyone have a fish biscuit and a good nap.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

What Kate Did

Kate gets rescued!!!

...And does a lite version of a phone sex dating line? What is going on over on that island?

Collision

Well, seeing as how we have closed the Halloween segment of the year, and seeing that it is Wednesday, we got ourselves a Lost night. Only two to go before the B.S. fourteen week holiday hiatus. Well, according to previews for tonight that I saw on ABC earlier this afternoon tonight someone dies! More specifically one of the survivors dies. Guess we will find out if I was right or not about my list of people dying. Inside sources tell me I was wrong, wayyyyyyyyyyyy wrong with who my guess is on who dies. If you wanna know highlite the following text otherwise you can watch tonight and be surprised that is if my sources are correct. Other than that have a great night and be prepared for a huge in depth Lost recap next week.

Looks like our big buddy Mr. Eko is the one to bite the dust tonight. This episode is his back story and could wrap up his "story". Other facts leading to the belief he is dying tonight is the fact that right now as you read this the final episodes of the season are being filmed and the actor who plays Eko (you know I can't spell) has not been in Hawaii for nearly 8 weeks. He is also the guest on Regis and Kelly tomorrow a la Michelle Rodriguez who played Anna Lucia she also was on Regis and Kelly the day after she was killed off. We shall see, I mean it bodes well for my boy Sawyer not being the one offed but Mr.Eko might also be one of my favorites in the show. If you don't count the new Paolo and Nikki who are quickly becoming my new favs. In case you can't tell I'm being sarcastic. I want them in body bags!