Eggtown

I BREAK THE YOLKS, MAKE A SMILEY FACE


Sawyer really messed up this episode... big time. Kate came to spy, yet she also came for him too. Sawyer’s too busy feeling sorry for himself to realize this. This leads him to say some pretty harsh things at the absolute worst times. When a girl tells you she’s not pregnant she wants some soft words and an arm around her shoulder, not a ‘whoo-hoo!’ followed up by a ‘that would be the worst thing in the world and you know it!’ Kate’s in the middle of considering Sawyer’s offer to stay but still feels an obligation to Jack – if she can just find out the deal with Miles, she can satisfy both camps and do what her heart wants. Yet here’s Sawyer being an insensitive jackass, telling her he only ‘told her’ he’d protect her because he figured it was what she wanted to hear. Worse yet, he’s sabotaging the whole thing without even meaning to - a leftover mechanism from his past life – because I believe he genuinely does love Kate and want to protect her… he just sucks at showing it.





We learned a lot this episode about how the plane crash was generally portrayed to the public. Jack, Hurley, Sayid, and whomever got together and thought it was in Kate’s best interest to portray her as a superhero. The ‘sick of lying’ line has even more meaning. Really cool moment when Kate called her son’s name. . This of course implies that Claire will never leave the island, which may be a reason Jack doesn’t want to see the baby. Jack’s already got enough daddy issues without the added pressure of seeing Aaron (his nephew) - a stark and painful reminder of what happened to his friends who didn’t make the O6. After the trial, Kate showed a genuine interest in seeing Jack on a connected type basis - totally inconsistent with the future-scene in last season’s finale. Somewhere between then and now, Jack royally pisses Kate off, and I’m betting it has to do with the simple fact that Aaron must go back to the island along with the rest of the Oceanic 6. No matter how many times Jack rides his golden ticket across the Pacific, he’ll never find the island without the others alongside him… I daresay, maybe even sitting in their exact numbered chairs. Angry season-finale Kate won’t even consider it, because her last pledge to Claire will of course be to always look after baby Aaron. Plane crashes are probably dangerous to babies.

Locke putting the grenade in Miles' mouth, pretty cool. Locke suffered some challenges to his leadership in this episode, including a crisis of self-confidence. I guess stuffing an explosive into a bad guy's mouth is one way to feel like a man again. Sawyer is right: Locke is going Kurtz on us. The horror...the horror...

By the way, Sawyer and Hurley are just two wacky roomies now! How cute! A man who reads but his friend likes to watch tv! Quick, get them a spinoff! But I digress.

There was a tiny bit of a double standard at work in this episode. Seems the quality of mercy is only strained when Kate's the one dishing it out. She got so mad that Sawyer was happy about her not being pregnant on a deserted island with one of those killer fetuses, that she knocked him in his head. But when Dr. Schmoopy McPerjury gave her the cold shoulder because his fragile, quivering psyche was too distraught and overwhelmed to face this actual human being back in the real world, she seemed to be willing to cut him quite a break. Maybe Kate has a soft spot for delicate men. Who knows? She seems to have been a loving and responsible mother to Clare's son Aaron. Could there possibly be some ulterior reason for her forgiving mood towards Jack? There was something creepy about this little family, since we all know it means that something unspeakably tragic has happened to this little family:

Kate didn't just get herself a pass out of prison. She also managed to nab Clare's kid. Remember how Aaron was not to be "raised by another"? Seems Kate was the "another" that Clare was being warned about. Did Kate kidnap this baby to provide herself some kind of cover? Is she pretending to be his biological mother.

In addition to Kate’s story, Eggtown includes another curious exploration of the notions of freedom and imprisonment, through the interplay of Locke and Ben. In the opening scene, Ben once again shows that Locke’s physical power over his body pales in comparison to his mental control over Locke’s mind. Ben alludes to his previous imprisonment in the Swan armory (the same man in a different place), but it is also important to note that Ben now resides in the same location in which Locke found Cooper (a different man in the same place). Even though Miles is in chains, he too appears to exercise more freedom than his keeper, as he tells us that he is ‘exactly where he wants to be.’

In one of Locke’s first flashback scenes of the Season One episode Walkabout, Locke stated that “Patience … is the hallmark of a leader”. If that holds true, then Locke has a long way to evolve before he can become a great leader. Right now, his impatience is his downfall (just as it was with the hatch in Season Two). In this episode, he responds to the constant undercutting of his authority, not by adapting to the psychological game, but by resorting to physical bullying. Locke has not yet reached the point where he will ‘shoot people in the head and continue on with his day,’ but his treatment of Miles suggests that he might not be very far from it. Hurley’s flash-forward scenes created a sense of impending doom about the destiny of John’s new flock, and now Kate’s flash-forward suggests that Claire may be the one to suffer the same fate as Boone.It seems more possible than ever that Locke’s story will end in tragedy and not triumph: he’s more lost than he’s ever been. For now, though, Kate’s story offers us hope that at least some Lost characters eventually may find what they have been seeking.

One of the most persistent criticisms against Kate has always been that she will not hesitate to use any of the other adults in her life to serve her own interests. On the island, she successively manipulates Hurley, Sawyer, Locke, Miles, and Ben in a plot to uncover information useful only to herself. By contrast, the flash-forward scenes stress Kate’s steadfast unwillingness to use her new son Aaron in the same way. First, Kate rejects her attorney’s reasonable advice to use the child to gain the jury’s sympathy. Her lawyer still tries to use her son in a roundabout way, but Kate cuts off the examination right before Jack begins to testify about Aaron. Kate’s mother even offers to sabotage the case, requesting only to see her grandson in return, but Kate refuses to utilize him even in that small way. In her final exchange with Jack, she once again makes her position clear: she values Aaron’s well-being above all else, including her own interests.

Of course in actuality, this episode wasn’t about Kate. This wasn't really about Kate's guilt or innocence. It was about All of Kate's Men. When you come down to it, it's never been about Kate at all, has it? Kate's just a vehicle the writers use to work out their twisted notions of sex and guilt. They let Kate do naughty nekkid stuff with the beautiful Sawyer but then they make her act very offended about it afterwards. In this episode, Kate learned the very important lesson that there are two kinds of men: the hot, saucy kind that are only good for one thing, and the limp, noodly kind, that are just useless entirely.

Xanadu, the boxed wine, getting excommunicated by Locke - that crap’s enough to weird anyone out. As the DA puts it, Kate’s the very definition of a flight risk. We’ve been watching her run for three seasons now, and aside from the fact she didn’t blow anything up, this episode was no different. You couldn’t expect her to stick around there.

This episode posed more questions than it answered. Why didn't Kate want to bring her son to court? Is she trying to hide him from the world? Why did Jack tell the jury that only eight people survived the crash of Oceanic 815? Who does Miles really work for? How does Ben know him? What was the significance of Daniel Faraday's guessing game with the cards? And most of all: Why was the episode called ''Eggtown''?
One of the questions I do have a theory on is the Daniel and his cards. What does the fact that he doesn’t know what the cards are when he clearly thinks he should? It means that the time anomaly isn’t the only thing going on with the island. In all likelihood, the island is also slipping dimensionally. I think those cards were exactly as Daniel remembered them when they were turned face down. But when they were turned up, they were different. Why? Because things are constantly CHANGING. Things have always been changing… most people have just been too stubborn to admit it. This began right at the start of season two, when the furnishings in Desmond’s Swan Hatch began morphing from scene to scene. It continued into season three, when stuff would appear out of nowhere and the entire contents of Ben’s fridge would rearrange themselves in the blink of an eye.

I'M A BITCH, I'M A LOVER, I'M A CHILD, I'M A MOTHER

Fine! Happy now?

http://cheekie-sweetcheeks.blogspot.com/2008/02/past-present-and-future.html

linky link for the economist blog

The Economist

A week until we get more Lost, so before that I have to share some thoughts on the first 8 episodes of the season. I've tried to break them down according to episodes so as to keep the time line in tact. Yeah, and I do know how moronic that sounds trying to keep the Lost time line in order. Anyway here are some thoughts, observations, and, feelings:


The Beginning of the End

The season starts with Hurley's a la Dukes of Hazzard crash into a pile of papayas with his father's old Camaro as we begin this one how we ended the last one, with a flash forward. Hurley is happy to check himself back into the mental institute in an attempt to flee from Charlie's ghost. Or is it Charlie's ghost? The two even discuss it very cryptically. Hurley: "You're dead dude." Charlie: "I know, but yet here I am." It's also interesting to note that one of the other patients also sees Charlie. Hurley seeing Charlie was nothing like Hurley seeing Dave two seasons ago. It’s hard to explain, but there’s a different feel to it now. Charlie came forward very logically, placidly, hands raised as if to say "I know, I know, it’s kinda freaky but just hear me out". So a ghost that is able to be seen by everybody or something else? I'm thinking something else. Maybe Smokey can come to them in the forms of their dead friends or perhaps, on the island Charlie is dead but off island he isn't. There is obviously some sort of time anomaly involved as well as time travel but does it go this far? Charlie also tells Hurley; "They need you Hugo". Just who are "they"? Are some of the survivors still alive on the island. Also, what is the "thing he isn't supposed to tell"? Possibly the same secret Jack meant at the end of last season when he told Kate he was "sick of lying". Denying knowledge of Ana Lucia was Hurley’s way of trying to forget ... but his eyes betrayed his sorrow when her name was mentioned.

Jack’s totally through with diplomacy! I thought he was done with it last season, but watching him flat out kill Locke by pulling the trigger of the gun this episode – WOW. And while Jack did just see Locke murder a seemingly innocent woman shooting Locke in the face is a far, far cry from where Jack used to be. Ben’s extremely wise-ass comments continue: "Well, technically he didn't kill her ... yet." and "Better tell them she's getting a lot of wood.". He's resigned to the fact he doesn't have control anymore but he isn't letting go quietly. Danielle's backhand to the mouth is a good way for her to come back this season although more from her has been promised (guess there will be more for her even though she may be dead after the last episode before the hiatus).

Christian Shephard rocking in Jacob's chair doing his best Whistler's Mother impression was pretty freaky. I was probably not the only one excited to see Crazy Jacob’s haunted cabin pop up this episode. This time Hurley stumbles across it, although of course he doesn’t really stumble across it at all. "Jacob is not a man you go to see – you are summoned by him". For some reason this episode, Jacob wants an audience with Hurley. As Hurley runs from Jacob’s cabin, it appears ahead of him again – only this time, the door swings open invitingly. This is reminiscent of Desmond’s description of how he tried to leave the island in his boat, only to be returned to shore again and again no matter which direction he sailed. What’s interesting here is how Hurley can break the island’s cycle of events by willing something his way. After repeating "There’s nothing here" a few times, the cabin is gone. Later on in the episode Hurley counts to five and gets rid of Charlie’s ghost exactly the same way (mirroring Jack's 5 second rule with fear). Perhaps his faith is growing, even if he doesn’t realize it yet. Why does Jacob seek an audience with Hurley? It could be because of the faith thing I just mentioned, but it could also be because Hurley is one of the few constants the island can’t touch. At least twice, Hurley has stated "I’m not supposed to be here". In Locke’s sweat-tent dream vision Hurley is the only 815’er not making his way on board the plane. In season one he arrives at the gate and the stewardess says "I don’t think you’re supposed to make this flight, hon". Without going into this too deeply, I’ll repeat my assertion that Hurley has always been untouchable – both on and off the island – because he was never part of the original equation. Maybe the island would rather just have him gone. Maybe this is why Hurley is later allowed to leave as one of the ‘Oceanic Six’.

Sinister Abbaddon asking "Are they still alive?" (''abaddon'' being a Hebrew ''place of destruction,'' or hell). Hurley started raging at not-yet-bearded flash-forward Jack about some ominous ''it'' (''I don't think we did the right thing, Jack! I think it wants us to come back! And it's going to do everything it can...''). Might the fact that Charlie is appearing again, and that Christian Shephard is seen all over the island, have something to do with the leaked DHARMA Initiative orientation video for the Orchid Station? Dr. Edgar Halowax (i.e. Marvin Candle/Mark Wickman from the previous orientation videos) is seen holding a white rabbit with the number 15 painted on it. He mentions how the island's unique properties creates a kind of Casimir effect that allows them to — and that's when another version of that rabbit falls into the room behind Halowax, and the good doctor has a minor fit, yelling to keep the two rabbits away from each other. It's two rabbits, but they're the same rabbit. We don't find out what the Casimir effect allows them to do (yet). Are we really dealing with ghosts, or are we dealing with the same Charlie and the same Christian, but from some other space time, like the same rabbit appeared from some other space time? If the above corollary holds, perhaps Dr's. Marvin Candle, Mark Wickman, and Edmund Halowax are not the same person as we think of it, but three versions of the same person from different space times.

Good lookin’ out Sawyer. I think it said a lot for Sawyer’s character the way he looked out for Hurley on that dark jungle path. Offering support for his grieving friend reflected the huge amount of character development he underwent last season. And when Hurley politely turned him away, Sawyer understood. Hugo needed to hold off on releasing that grief – he needed to keep it inside him until he could let it out with the one person he needed to: Claire. He owed that to her, Charlie, and himself.

Confirmed Dead

Ben’s mind games with Sawyer aren't purely recreational - as with anything Ben does, there’s always some kind of agenda. At this point, Ben’s resigned himself to the fact that at least some of the 815’Er's are going to leave the island. Needling Sawyer about not really having anything to go home to, and riding him about Jack/Kate, Ben was planting seeds in an effort to make him stay. Sawyer will stay, leaving Kate forlorn and depressed and bitchy in the flash forwards. But… that’s a good thing. Sawyer will be the one reason Jack and Hurley will eventually convince Kate ‘to go back’. She loves him. It’s obvious at this point that ‘going back’ is inevitable, and most likely not possible unless ALL of the Oceanic Six use their golden tickets in the same plane. End of season finale? Possibly.

We have met the enemy… and we are him. "Light em’ up!" - Miles standing in the jungle, Jack telling him he’s surrounded by guns. Seeing him smirk at Jack, non-believing until a bullet whizzes by, a mirror-image of Jack – a mirror image of the situation the 815’Er's encountered all those episodes ago. It was funny to watch, but it was alarming too. Look how easy it was for our main characters to become the very thing we all hated so much – the simplest of questions unanswered, the disparaging looks, the sarcasm, the jadedness… The 815 survivors have cool jungle moves. The 815 survivors have rifles and guns. The 815 survivors have a camp, a really weird agenda (some of them anyway), and about half of them have no desire to leave the island. Sound a little familiar? You bet. Our beloved 815’Er's have come full circle. They have executed their own purge, but the Others are not truly gone: the 815’Er's have become the Others – without even knowing how. THAT’S HOW SLICK THE ISLAND IS.

Locke and Sawyer display a dynamic partnership as the leaders of their new faction. Sawyer helps balance Locke’s fanaticism by questioning him every step of the way. The two men also share an almost brotherly bond, which centers on the man who created both of them, Anthony Cooper. Although The Brig already seems like ancient history, it was only a week ago on the island that Locke lured Sawyer out into the jungle with the promise of killing Ben. Cooper's execution seems like mere practice now, as they debate whether to kill a far more dangerous foe. Sawyer knew what needed to be done then, and he knows what needs to be done now. When the moment of truth arrives in this episode, though, Ben exercises that same power over Locke that Cooper once did. Cooper controlled Locke time and again with the promise of fatherly love, and now Ben assumes Locke's puppet-strings by promising him answers. Now Sawyer may be "brave, daring, handsome" (oh, Ben you sweet talker), but he's also very often the one who says the things we're thinking ourselves. And in this episode, he had one line that I don't think anyone doubts could turn out to be true: "It's only a matter of time before he gets us, Johnny, and I bet he's already figured out how he's going to do it."

The five people who made it to the island are no more in the loop about what’s really going on than the fools who sat in the Pearl hatch launching marble notebooks mindlessly into the jungle. Miles, Dan, Charlotte, Frank – they might believe their objective to be Ben Linus, but in my opinion that’s just secondary. I don’t think they could reach the island without the four people in that chopper. Abaddon knows this. Naomi’s out of the loop too, she thinks the team is absurd – but he doesn’t have to explain it to her. Frank the drunken pilot was already supposed to be on the island. Fate swapped places with his friend Seth, but his connection is most evident. Putting him in command of that chopper might well have been the only way for them to find the island (or metaphorically, to let the island find them). In short, Abaddon’s tricking his way in. Dan’s got some type of connection too – he’s crying when he sees the crash footage and doesn’t have a clue why.

Locke asks Ben "what is the monster?" And for a second, I almost thought we’d get an answer. But then of course we didn’t. But then a few more seconds passed, and I realized we DID get an answer… and the answer was important. The answer is that Ben really doesn’t know what the smoke monster is (think I was gonna take Juliet’s lying-ass word for it last season?), which means that Locke doesn’t know what it is, which (drumroll…) means that Jacob wants to know what it is. And to me, that’s pretty damned important. After that Locke cocked the gun, and with no choice but to come clean, Ben blurted out Charlotte's complete résumé. How does he know so much about Freighter Girl? ''Because I have a man on their boat!'' As we later found out was Michael or in some cases already knew.

What exactly does it mean when Daniel notes that the sunlight ''doesn't scatter quite right'' on the Island?

If you go back through my blog you can find the post for episode 3 "The Economist". "Eggtown" and others coming soon.

Confirmed Dead

So last week I needed to get my doo done. If you are a dear constant reader you know when it comes to gettin' my doo done, I go see "My David". We stopped to get David an unsweetened iced tea like we always do, and they were out of it, so we had to get him a caramel coffee. Both are very yum, but it was a warm day so I guess the iced tea went quick. We got to the salon and David announced to us he was moving. Not a big move, just from one studio apartment to another. A matter of a few doors down in fact. He asked if I would be able to help with the move. I had to work Saturday so I wasn't sure if I could make it that day, but since I was off Sunday I was able to help any time then. David accepted my offer so bright and early we arrived at 11:30 Sunday morning. He didn't get as much help as he thought he was going to get Saturday so there was still the dining room and his bedroom left to do. I didn't tell him, but it wasn't that much in the grand scheme of things either way. He's one guy that lives alone, how much could he have in a four room studio apartment? In a short 90 minutes we had the dining room done and there was only the bedroom and a few odds and ends left. Another of David's faithful clients arrived with her daughter and her entire girl scout troop. Well, they would be okay to deal with the odds and ends I figured. So we all stood around talking for a bit and then another troop mother arrived (another client of David's, he's got a lot of faithfuls) and she was talking to the group of girls when David came over to me and it is at this point I will try and give you the exact exchange that went on between us:


"Topher, I need you to do me a huge favor." David said to me in almost a whisper as he folded his arms then smiled and nodded at the girl scouts.

"Sure, what do you need?" I asked him, after I noticed he was getting a little bit nervous.


"Go upstairs to my bedroom and in my night table I need you to grab a few things out of it for me." David said all of this through his nervous grin. Barely moving his lips.

"Okay, what am I looking for?" I started to realize why I had to do this very soon as I heard the troop mothers begin to organize the girl scouts. They were ready to send them in to start moving stuff. Since they were too young to move anything substantial one of the mothers thought it was a good idea if they looked around to find some things they could handle easily.


"David, maybe the girls could pull the drawers out and you guys could move the dressers and night tables. That would make it easier for you, right?" Troop Mom #1 said.

"Oh, there you go, good idea. Want them to start in the bedroom?" Troop Mom #2 piped in.


"Maybe start in the dining room and living room getting the last few things there so our path is clear when we move the dresser and bed." David quickly suggested. Then he turned his attention back to me.

"What am I getting?" I asked again.


"In my night table, pull out the drawer and get everything they shouldn't see." David ordered as he motioned towards the girl scouts when he said they.

I understood and any more was not needed to be said. "Gotcha." was all I offered.


I went inside the downstairs door and ran up the stairs taking them two at a time. The scout troop, four in the dinning room and two in the kitchen were doing as David had asked. There was a magazine rack, a few pots and pans, some nick knacks, and a few boxes left. The last of the boxes, I figured, would not be on the list of things they could carry. They would soon spread to the bedroom like a virulent infection. I made my way to the bedroom and quickly scanned the room. My glance went from dresser to window to full length oval mirror and then to the bed. Next to the bed was the aforementioned night table. I looked back to the dinning room and could see most of the girls were already making their way out and carrying what the could to the new apartment. I had a few minutes so I didn't close the door although I considered it and then rejected the idea as it might make me seem a little more suspicious and I still wasn't exactly sure just what i was there for.

I sat on the side of the bed and took a deep breath then opened the draw. I was able to see what I was there for almost immediately. The exact inventory of what I had to secret away reads as follows:

• two packs of condoms both Durex brand
  
• one tube of personal lubrication
  
• two (ahem) personal massagers
  
• two black rubber (the word for a male chicken, and I don't mean "rooster") rings
  
• one cloth ring like the black rubber ones mentioned above with adjustable snaps
  a pair of "love dice"
  
• a few things that I don't really know what they were but looked like they should be included.

Suddenly I wished one of two things were different in my life. Either (a) I had a slightly less perverted gay hair stylist, or (b) I was wearing pants with bigger pockets. So, not wanting to make two trips I took a pillow case off of one of the pillows and shoveled all of the offending items inside of it and put the rest of the items in my pockets. I slung the pillow case over my shoulder and exited the bedroom. The apartment was still empty and I made my way down the stairs and outside.

David greeted me at the door and asked if I had gotten everything. I told him I had thought so but if he wanted to go check to make sure I would come back. Which he did. As he went upstairs to his old apartment he stopped and yelled down for me to put all of "that" in the bedroom closet in the new apartment. Which I did successfully.

The rest of the move, I am happy to say, was relatively uneventful. Thanks goes to all who helped as well as David for making even something as mundane as "Moving Day" interesting and exciting if not dangerous! Love ya lots!

Now the answer can be revealed ...

Yes, we are finally ready for the championship round for the title of Greatest Dc Hero. It's been a long road for the final two. Let's take an in depth look at the two participants in the championship:



Real Name - Bruce Wayne
Current Alias - Batman
Aliases - Matches Malone, Thomas Quigley, Ragman, Detective Hawke, Sir Hemingford Grey, Frank Dixon, Gordon Selkirk, Mr. Fledermaus
Affiliation - Batman Family, Justice League of America, Outsiders
Relatives - Thomas Wayne (father, deceased), Martha Wayne (mother, deceased), Damian al Ghul (possible son), Philip Wayne (uncle); Harriet Wayne (aunt); Patrick Wayne (grandfather, deceased); Charles Wayne (great-grandfather, deceased); Alan Wayne (great great-grandfather, deceased); Joshua Wayne (ancestor, deceased); Solomon Wayne (ancestor, deceased); Darius Wayne (ancestor, deceased), Dick Grayson (adoptive son), Jason Todd (adoptive son), Tim Drake (adoptive son), Damian Wayne (alleged son), Alfred Pennyworth (former legal guardian)
Base Of Operations - Wayne Manor and the Batcave, Gotham City; The Hall & JLA Watchtower

Characteristics
Height - 6' 2"
Weight - 210 lbs (95 kg)
Eyes- Blue
Hair - Black

Occupation - Adventurer, Owner and Chairman of Wayne Enterprises, Billionaire playboy, Industrialist and philanthropist

Education - College Graduate, Has Degrees in Criminal Science, Forensics, Computer Science, Chemistry, Engineering,Human Biology, Physics, Advanced Chemistry, and Technology. Trained in various martial arts throughout the world.

Origin - Young Bruce Wayne was traumatized after witnessing the murder of his parents at the hand of a mugger. Reared by the Wayne's faithful servant, Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce traveled across the globe honing his mind and developing martial arts and combat skills. Returning to Gotham City, Bruce created the persona of Batman to combat the criminal element of the city, that is, to fight his war on crime.

Place of Birth - Crest Hill, Bristol Township in Gotham County

Creators - Bob Kane, Bill Finger

First appearance - Detective Comics #27 (May, 1939) Making Batman 69 years old.

VERSUS

Real Name - Diana of Themyscira
Current Alias - Wonder Woman; Diana Prince; The Amazing Amazon
Aliases - Princess Di; Miss America; Princess Diana
Affiliation - Justice League of America
Relatives - Hippolyta (mother), Donna Troy (magically created clone), Antiope (Aunt)
Base Of Operations - The Hall & JLA Watchtower; Themyscira; formerly Gateway City; formerly Boston, Massachusetts
Height - 6' 0"
Weight - 165 lbs (75 kg)
Eyes - Blue
Hair - Black
Occupation - Adventurer, Emissary to the world of Man, Protector of Paradise Island; former Goddess of Truth; former government special agent
Education - Traditional Amazon education, Warrior Training
Origin - Created on Themyscira, Princess Diana was given great powers by the Gods. She left her homeland and became an emissary to the world of Man.
Place of Birth - Themyscira
Creators - William Moulton Marston, Elizabeth Holloway Marston

What a final two. How can anyone pick a winner? This is an epic battle for superhero supremacy as well as a battle of the sexes. Two of the biggest names in comic book history. The Princess versus the Dark Knight. Lasso versus Batarang. Invisible plane versus Batmobile. Wrist bands versus utility belt. But the biggest deciding factor in this battle has nothing to do with gender, intelligence, strength, super powers, or gadgets. It all comes down to one thing. I got a Batman tattoo for a friggin' reason people, c'mon! Did you really think it was going to end any other way? Give me a break you should have seen this coming from a mile away. Now stop reading this blog and go do something more productive like picking belly button lint.

The Final Four Battle It Out

Yes folks we are presenting the battle of the final four tonight. Before we have the battles let's see how each participant got to be here in the Final Four:

Wonder Woman battled and defeated Shadowlass in the opening round rather easily, in the second round she faced off with Black Canary. This battle was nearly as quick and easy for her as the previous match but the pretty bird gave her a little more of a fight. In The Sweet 16 round, John Henry Irons presented a greater physical challenge for Wonder Woman but still not enough of one to cast doubt onto weather she would make the Elite 8. In the round of The Elite 8 the Amazonian Princess was given what was to be her hardest battle although quite possibly she did have the "easiest" road to the Final Four than any other contender. Swamp Thing, although nearly a God still paled in comparison and was defeated by the Princess. Will her run of good luck continue as she battles Power Girl? Looking at the road Power Girl had to travel to make the Final Four is almost a negative reflection of Wonder Woman's. While WW was a number one seed, PG was a six seed. Starfire and Jason Todd were the opponents for the first two rounds of the tournament and she was able to dispatch the two of them in easy fashion, although not as easily as WW did with her opening round of battles. In the Sweet 16 round Power Girl was to face off with the youngest Green Lantern, Kyle Rayner where she was the underdog. With the upset win, PG was able to move onto the Elite 8 where an even more difficult opponent awaited her in Doctor Fate. In the previous round the good doctor was able to best Superman, PG's cousin from an alternate Earth. The road has not been easy for the chairman of the JSA but she is in the Final Four and not to be taken lightly. Which of these two comic book divas will make the finals of the tournament? We shall know in a few short minutes.

Wonder Woman

Versus

Power Girl

The is an epic battle to be sure. These two "Glamazons", are both beauties to behold for sure. One must go home and for that to happen, one must lose. These two are holding nothing back as they battle in the arena. Neither seems to be intimidated by the other, both have too much to prove to allow themselves to be. There's more grunting and groaning than a Steffi Graff versus Monica Seles tennis match, just a little more sexy. Okay, a lot more sexy. They are both bruised and battered as the fight continues to rage on. The brunette versus the blond. The greatest of her gender versus the last of her kind. This is in a way the finals for the ladies division. The winner of this battle will be able to have the gender bragging rites as the best in the DC Universe. But they don't want to just be the best female hero they want to be the best hero, period. They rage on as they are about to enter into their second hour of warfare. No submissions here, as these two are going for broke. A knockout is the only way this one is going to end for sure. The ground shakes with thunderous blows from both ladies. They take their battle to the outer edges of the atmosphere as they are now out of site. Literally! We are trying to see if we can pick them up on satellite feed and nothing seems to be able to find them. Suddenly a blip comes on the radar. Just one blip. As a figure can be seen in the sky, just a fleck against the bright setting sun, the winner comes into view. Wonder Woman is carrying her defeated foe in her arms. Power Girl is out but has nothing to be ashamed of. She too is a true champion, but as we said, only one can move on to the finals. Winner by KO and our first entrant in the final round - Wonder Woman.

Our next match finds Green Lantern Hal Jordan facing off against Gotham's Dark Knight. Hal Jordan enters the Final Four almost as easily as Wonder Woman was able to. His first round match against Vigilante was over almost before it started and his second round match against Animal Man seemed to be an instant replay. Lobo, his next opponent in the Sweet 16 round, was a bit more difficult but nothing Jordan could not handle. It seemed that GL could have ended it any time he chose to. The Elite 8 match was a heart wrenching affair but no more difficult that a little defence and then, mercifully it was over as Green Arrow almost seemed to submit to his emerald counterpart. If Wonder Woman's road to the final wasn't the easiest road to travel, than Jordan's certainly was. On the other side of the arena, Batman has not had it so easy. Batman battled Starman and Cyborg in the first two rounds. The first round was a walk through for the caped detective. In the second round, Cyborg appeared to be on the way to the largest upset in the tournament but Batman was able to pull out the victory from the jaws of defeat. The Sweet 16 was no picnic either. The Spectre cast an imposing shadow over the arena as well as over the hopes of Batman. Again, strategy not power was the deciding factor. Miraculously, The Spear of Destiny was able to give Batman the edge (pardon the pun) he needed to get him to the Elite 8. Oddly enough it was in the Elite 8 that it may be said Batman was presented with his easiest battle. Zatanna was poorly outmatched by the Dark Knight in this fight. Perhaps Batman had some extra incentive to win. Or maybe it was Zatanna who had other plans for this battle. Sometimes the biggest battles are those that wage within and a victor can only be declared when you are able to forgive yourself. Debt paid in full.

Green Lantern Hal Jordan

Versus

Batman

As the battle before; this is a battle for two things. For one it will give us the greatest male superhero in the DC Multiverse. It will also give us the other half of the final match in the tournament. A lot must occur for us to get to that point first. One of these legends must go down. The utility belt that Batman wears is loaded with gadgets. Green Lantern owns just one gadget, the power ring. Quite possibly the most powerful weapon in the DC Universe. It's no surprise Batman has pulled out an old school cape and cowl for this battle. What little yellow is in this costume could be the deciding factor. Could this one small detail be the difference in the battle? One thing is for certain, Batman has thought of everything. We are under way as Batman is the master of many hand to hand forms of martial arts. He will need all of them as it seems he is focusing his attack not on GL himself but on the battery that charges the power ring. Without the battery GL will have to make due with the charge his ring has. It was fully charged at the beginning of the battle, but exactly how long will the battle go on and how much power can the ring spend. It is not an inexhaustible supply. The two are no strangers to each other. They are members of the Justice League. The best of the best as it was. For one of these warriors, their best won't be good enough tonight. It is well into the evening now as the two continue to wage war. With the coming darkness, Batman seems to get a little bit of an edge now. He fights in the shadows and seems to draw strength from it. The utility belt is one of the easiest identifiable accessories in the world of costumed superheroes. The Lasso of Truth that Wonder Woman carries is another as is Green Lantern's power ring. The exact contents of the belt are not known, as Batman changes them to suit his needs; his uncanny ability to carry the appropriate tools for a mission is legendary. His confidence never waves as he is the master strategist. Green Lantern seems to be very cautious. Quite possibly too much so. As all of the stops are now pulled out by the Dark Knight, he has a batarang in one hand and a grappling hook in the other. The grappling hook is shot at GL and it looks to be an errant shot. As Jordan watches it safely sail by it seems he has forgotten about the batarang. The aim is impeccable as the sharp tip slides between band and flesh. The power ring is now off of the finger of Green Lantern. Before Green Lantern can recover his one and only weapon, Batman seizes his opportunity. The Batbolas ensnare Hal's feet and with a press of a button on the utility belt Batman sends a small charge of electricity. Enough of a charge to render Green Lantern unconscious. Winner by KO Batman.

Be here next post as we crown a champion.

The Road to the Final Four

We started with 64 (65 with Black Canary coming in as a replacement) and are now down to 8. By the end of this post we will be down to the final four! To lose now could prove devastating to say the least, but four heroes will have to go home, as four will move on to the semi-finals. Let's get the festivities started with our first match of the night featuring:

Power Girl

Versus

Doctor Fate

As luck would have it, it appears we have the female Dr. Fate tonight so therefore we actually get an Elite Eight Female Fury sudden death match. For this match we have hung a superhero sized dose of Midol high above the arena. The first heroine to make her way to the Midol, unhooking it from the wire suspending it nearly 1,000 feet into the air will not only get relief from aggravating cramping and bloating in about twenty minutes, but will also secure her spot in the final four. Here we go and seeing as how both of them are able to fly, the "1,000 feet above the arena" part doesn't seem to be that big of a deal anymore now does it. For those of you that thought the female version of Dr. Fate was just a bad dream well, here she is in all of her glory. Kent Nelson was able to put the big blue boy scout down for the count. Can Inza Nelson, Kent's wife, do the same to Superman's alternate Earth's cousin? Didja get all that? The Dr. Fate moniker has done well for itself (regardless of whoever is wearing the helm) thus far. Just making it this far is considered above and beyond what was expected. Don't seem to recall the female version of Fate being as powerful as Kent Nelson or even the Hector Hall version. Watching her New Earth cousin get his big blue ass handed to him did wonders for his Earth 2 cousin Power Girl as far as strategy is concerned. After a few failed attempts by Power Girl, and a feeble attempt by Fate, Power Girl is able to secure the Midol and has cemented her name into the Final Four Bracket. Winner - Power Girl.

Moving on-

Batman

Versus

Zatanna

Whoa, you wanna talk about history? We gots some here folks! I will try to see if I can give you the Reader's Digest condensed version of the story between these two, so bare with me. High above the Earth, in the Justice League satellite, super villain Dr. Light (not to be confused with the super heroine Dr. Light) teleported himself and while hiding and waiting, bided his time. Sue Dibny, the wife of the Elongated Man, was left alone on the satellite. Seeing his chance, Dr. Light made his presence known and began to assault Sue only to be caught in the act by most of the Justice League. Somehow Dr. Light knew the secret identities of the Justice League and swore he would get at them by going through their families. He would tell all of the super villians what he knew about their personal life and none of their families would be safe. The Justice League made a drastic decision. After putting it to a vote, they decided Zatanna would give Dr. Light a mind wipe and erase all knowledge he had of the leaguers personal life. In the middle of the mind wipe, Batman teleported to the satellite and voiced his disapproval. It was then decided that Zatanna would also mind wipe Batman as a way of making him forget what had happened that day. Even if it was crossing a line they felt it was better than leaving their families exposed to threats of danger from the super villain community. Batman eventually learned of the deceitful act of Zatanna and the rest of the league and disbanded the entire Justice League. None of the members felt as much of Batman's anger as Zatanna did. The entire league decided what was to be done but it was Zatanna who did the actual deed. That, as you can see, would make for a very entertaining battle. And entertaining it was from bell to bell. Batman has forgiven Zatanna as the two have recently spoken about the event and Batman even asked for Zatanna's help recently on a case. From the looks of things, he has forgiven but he has not forgotten. Batman must have had some of the Scarecrows "fear" poison or some of the "Joker Venom"; for a very short period of time Zatanna was out of her mind and Batman waited a few extra minutes after being declared the winner to give her the antidote. The hatchet seems to have been reburied. For now. Winner by TKO - Batman.

Next into the arena-

Wonder Woman

Versus

Swamp Thing

This one, on paper, looks like a crap shoot. You have the seemingly immortal "God of the Bog" Swamp Thing versus the Amazon Princess. A truly back and forth affair as the creature that Alec Holland has become struggles to keep pace with Wonder Woman. The golden lasso of truth is the deciding factor as Wonder Woman is able to tie up her opponent and seal her place in the final four. Swamp Thing seems to be pleased with the outcome, oddly enough. Winner by submission - Wonder Woman.

And finally tonight -

Green Lantern Hal Jordan

Versus

Green Arrow Oliver Queen

Wow! That's all I can say. Another unbelievable battle. Not only are they both complimentary garbed in emerald green but they are the closest of friends. Ha Ha! Mongol has nothing on me! (inside joke, if you don't read the comics you won't understand) How can you pick a winner here? The original "Hard-Traveling Heroes" were even joined together in a comic, each splitting time in the stories main arc. Even though they sit on opposite sides of the fence, Oliver being a free spirited liberal and Jordan a stoic practitioner of conservatism, they have found common ground and are forever linked. It appears neither wants to be the first to take the initiative on offence. This one almost has a sort of sad undertone to it. C'mon guys it's not a fight to the death, it's just a battle for the egos supremacy. Ah, I knew that would do it. Now it's on as Ollie has begun to show some of his archery skills successfully shooting off 29 arrows per minute. Jordan hardly cracks a sweat defending off the arrows. The supply of arrows will eventually run out, how long can the ring hold it's charge? That could be the deciding factor in the fight. Arrow is now asking Jordan to finish it. Telling him to do what he has to do. As if to make matters worse and to force the hand of Jordan, Arrow pulls out a quiver of new arrows. All of the arrows in this quiver are yellow. "How about now, Hal?" Queen asks. Lantern uses his ring to create an air tight bubble around Arrow. As Ollie begins to loose consciousness, Jordan mouths the words "I'm sorry.". Winner by KO - Hal Jordan.

We now have our final four.

Making the Elite 8

Here we are again with four more battles of epic proportions to get down to the eight finalists or the "Elite Eight" as is were. Let's find out who moves on and who goes home. First up tonight:

Superman

Versus

Doctor Fate

Superman in all of his omnipotence does have a few weaknesses. One, of course being kryptonite, the other is magic. Kent Nelson as Doctor Fate is one of, if not the most powerful magician in the DC Universe. In what may be the fight of his life, Doctor Fate is able to throw spell after spell at Clark Kent. Superman is hardly able to hold off the mystical sorcerer. A magic box is formed around the arena as the rays of the yellow sun that gives Superman his strength is being blocked now. There is a green glow as some sort of magical kryptonite has been summoned by Fate. Superman is going down! This would be the upset of the century. Superman is exhorting serious amounts of strength just to stave off the assault of the good Dr. now. All this goes on as Doctor Fate continues to just hover above the arena and the onslaught of spell after spell is hurled at Superman. This is the fight of Doctor Fates life as finally the battle is halted and the winner by TKO - Dr. Fate in what has got to be considered the biggest upset of the tournament thus far.

Moving on:

The Dark Knight

Versus

The Spectre

We have another battle of gigantic proportions as Batman must battle the spirit of vengeance, the Spectre. If Doctor Fate isn't the most powerful spiritual beings in the magical DC Universe than the Spectre is! However working in Batman's favor is he is no more susceptible to magic than any other man. The Spectre tries to use fear as a weapon against Batman but it seems to have no effect. Batman continues to defend himself very well as he begins to use his mental abilities to try to reason with the Spectre. Batman seems to be immune to most of the Spectres illusions as Batman is at his best in this fight. The Spectre begins to slow his assault as he begins to realize that there is no vengeance to be given to Batman. Bruce Wayne, himself, is also a human vessel of vengeance. The Spectre seems to recognize this as he calls the battle to a halt. Winner by submission - Batman.

Moving on-

Wonder Woman

Versus

Steel

After the first two matches, what can this match do to intensify the evenings actions? As it turns our, not too much. This battle only looks good on paper. Steel has a good showing for himself just getting this far, however, unlike the previous two fights, this one is just what it seems to be a number one seed against a number eight seed. Not to take anything away from John Henry Irons but the upsets have seemed to come to an end tonight. Winner by KO - Wonder Woman.

Finally-

Hal Jordan

Versus

Lobo

The very best the Green Lantern Corps has to offer against "The Main Man", Lobo. Intergalactic bounty hunter versus intergalactic police officer and peace keeper. To quote the Bobby Fuller Four, "I fought the law and the law won!". Lobo seems to be no match for this Green Lantern. Putting an end to Lobo's Cinderella Story, Green Lantern is declared the easy winner over the upstart twelve seed by TKO.

The quarter finals begin soon!

Sweet 16 round part 1

It's time to begin the round of 16. All of the contestants that have made it this far have only made it to the half way point if they hope to be crowned DC Comics Greatest Superhero Of All Time. They seem to be chomping at the bit to get it going so lets go to our first battle featuring:

Green Lantern Kyle Rayner

Versus

Power Girl

OK, kyle Rayner is he is supposedly the "last Green Lantern", he' s only been around for about 14 years and he has had a ridiculous amount of costumes changes. I mean seriously, pick a costume and go with it. Pick an identity and go with that too. Green Lantern to Ion to Green Lantern to Parallax back to Ion and now back to Green Lantern. What gives? He's from this Earth, he's not from this Earth. I don't think they can keep any of this straight anymore and quite frankly, I don't think they are even trying at this point. Anywho, his erstwhile opponent, Power Girl ain't no bed of roses herself when it comes to an origin story. I guess first we have to decide if this is Power Girl from Earth 1 or from Earth 2. She has the same name as Supergirl but isn't Supergirl. She has the same origin story as Supergirl from one of the Earths (I think 2 but I'm not sure) it depends on which continuity you want to follow or believe or maybe the term should be trust. See why a lot of people don't read or collect comics any more?!?!? In one continuity she is also Andromeda, a member of the Legion of Superheroes, she was also Nightwing in another Earth reality story arc. If that's not confusing enough there will be yet another origin story for her after the current "Crisis" story line comes to a close and we have what is known as "New Earth". Got all that? Phew, oh look Power Girl just won the fight. At least I didn't have to bore you with all of that description as well. Winner by TKO Power Girl.

Moving on:

Captain Marvel

Versus

Zatanna

Guess what? Captain Whitebread doesn't go by Captain Marvel anymore. In the new continuity of New Earth he is now just called Marvel and he is a God. He has long white hair and is filling in for the God Shazam. I just don't get it. How about if we just call him by his name when he's just a kid and not being all superheroey and saving the planet; Billy Batson, does that work? Oh, that's right I forgot he's going by William now. Thank the man Jeesus that for nearly fifty years, Zatanna has gone on practically unchanged in origin and story. She's also not only human but she is Homo Magi. I don't know what that means but I think it sounds kinda cool. OK, I do actually know what it means but if I told you I would have to kill you. (Sigh...) Fine, the Readers Digest condensed version: she's a human in the DC Universe that uses magic. She is considered by many as the greatest "minor" hero in the DC Universe in that she has been around since 1964 and has never had her own comic series. How's that for a fine how do you do? Well I gave her a fine how do you do right after she beat Captain "What's his face" over there. Somehow she tricked him into saying his magic word in the middle of the fight that changed him back to Billy. Never called him the world's smartest mortal. Winner by KO - Zatanna.

Next up:

Firestorm

Versus

Swamp Thing

Now I gotta tell you, when I set the brackets for the tournament (on a side note; do you pronounce tournament like making a left "turn" or tournament like you are a band going on "tour"? I never know the right way to say it, good thing you can't hear an accent in typeset eh?) As I was saying; the brackets were set and look at what we got here. The Earth elemental Swamp Thing against Firestorm, who, for a little while, was the Fire elemental. In fact in the "New Earth" continuity there are two Firestorm stories/heroes. The original Firestorm; a combination of Professor Martin Stein and student Ronald Raymond is now the Firestorm Elemental but has since been killed off (sort of). The other version of Firestorm is Jason Rusch, also a student who has joined in a matrix on occasion with several different people to make Firestorm. Among the others who have joined Jason to make Firestorm has been Ronald Raymond, Martin Stein, Mick Wong (Jason's best friend), Cyborg (yes the same one that is in this tournament), and Firehawk (sort of a female version of Firestorm). So even though the current version is not the elemental version of Firestorm, we still almost had an elemental versus elemental battle. But we didn't. Too bad for Firestorm that he cannot use his powers on any organic material. Swamp Thing is pretty much entirely organic. He's also virtually indestructible as long as there is some sort of plant life in existence for him to regenerate from. Winner by TKO - Swamp Thing.

Finally tonight we have:

Supergirl

Versus

Green Arrow

My goodness she looks very hot. Of course that gets her no where in this battle. Even though Ollie is a ladies man, lately he has been trying to be a one lady man. Interesting fact, since Power Girl is basically the same person as Supergirl, just from different Earth realities, they are unable to have any physical contact or their powers go haywire. Well there goes my hope of a lesbian scene! What do you think would happen if your doppelganger from another plane of reality was to touch you? Yeah, thought so! As I was saying, wait a minute, what possible hope could G.A. have in this fight? Well, a lot considering he has made a few kryptonite arrows that he uses very well in this fight. In a surprising upset, winner by TKO - Green Arrow.

Now a final thought on "New Earth". New Earth is the current primary reality that mainstream stories take place in. On occasion, New Earth has also been erroneously called Earth-One as well as having other designations including Earth-Two. Although it contains elements of both, New Earth is actually a completely different reality from that of the historic Earth-One or Earth-Two. For example, the Justice Society of America never existed on Earth-One at all. On New Earth, the JSA inspired later heroes including Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman. The Earth is also referred to as "Primary Earth"/"DC Primary Earth" as well as "Earth Omega" or "Earth Sigma" and has been referred to derisively by some readers as "Clutter Earth". Starting to lean towards the last description myself.

See ya in the funny pages.