Does this pic look like his mouth is open and awaiting?
Anyway, back to the point of this new blog post:
The Top Reasons It Is Great Being A Guy
Movie nudity is virtually always female
A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase
Monday Night Football
Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter
You can open all your own jars
When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying
Your butt is never a factor in job interviews
All your orgasms are real
You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go
You understand why Stripes is funny
You can go to the bathroom without a support group
Your last name stays put
You can leave the hotel bed unmade
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
You see the humour in Terms of Endearment
Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow
You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes
Sex means never worrying about your reputation
Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack
The National College Cheer leading Championship
You don't have to shave below your neck
None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry
You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night
If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices
You can write your name in the snow
Everything on your face gets to stay its original color
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat
Flowers fix everything
You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours
You can wear a white shirt to a water park
Three pairs of shoes is more than enough
You can eat a banana in a hardware store
You can say anything ("Wow, do my balls hurt!") and not worry about what people will think
Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe
Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room
You can whip your shirt off on a hot day
You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by
You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without ever thinking He must be mad at me
The world is your urinal
You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover's about to leave you
You get to jump up and slap stuff
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area
You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him
You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy
You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you're wearing
Same work...more pay!
Gray hair and wrinkles only add character
You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment
Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75
If you retain water, it's in a canteen
The remote control is yours and yours alone
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift
You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked
You needn't pretend you're "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom
If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your other friends you've changed
Someday you'll be a dirty old man
You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it."
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected
New shoes don't blister, cut, and mangle your feet
Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind
Not liking a person doesn't preclude having great sex with them
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
11 comments:
You forgot some. There's. . .
Men don't have to wonder if they'll have an orgasm when they have sex. We will.
We don't have to wash new sheets.
Bladder infections hold no fear for us.
We never wonder if ANYTHING we're wearing makes us look fat.
And as for your EXTREMELY DUBIOUS opening statement: Sawyer is WAAAAAAAY hotter than Juliet or that new chick. Kate is hotter than Sawyer but Sawyer's definitely number two. And Juliet. . .dude, I don't understand you sometimes. There are at least 4 hotter women on LOST ahead of Juliet. You make me wonder, dude, you REALLY do. Your wanting to have sex with Sawyer DOESN'T make me wonder. . .but your fixation on Juliet DOES.
All I can say is after the finale, we know that at least Sawyer, Kate and Jack are alive and off of the island. The funeral for Locke or Ben?
How do you know it's Sawyer???
"I have to get back. He's going to be wondering where I am." -Kate
Who else could she be talking about? Don't get me wrong there is definitely some wishfull thinking mixed in there.
Hey, what's that down there that we are about to jump over? Could it be ........... a shark? We're getting close now my friends.
She could be talking about anyone, actually. I personally think it's David Caruso.
I think it's practically certain it's not Sawyer for the very reason that she said something that "sounds" like it's Sawyer.
Sawyer's probably in the coffin.
I can't see any way that "Can't never stay in one place and settle down" Kate is gonna end up with "Can't stay in one place cause I'm a rovin' con man and won't settle down with anybody" Sawyer end up with each other. Much too pat. And then that WOULD be jumping the shark. We ALL know that Kate ends up with Hurley. So just stop foolin' yourself!
And hmmmm. . .I wonder what "HOFFS DRAWLAR" Funeral Parlor is an anagram of. . .
It's "FLASH FORWARD" in case you didn't know. Obviously a clue that what we were watching happens in the future and is not a flashback.
Just so's ya know.
its also an anagram for Flash Raw Ford which means Sawyer has a nude scene next year.
THAT JUST MADE YOUR MILLENIUM!!!! You get SO happy when Sawyer has a shirt-off-scene!
Yeah tell me when was the last time you saw Jack with his shirt off? Speaking of Ol Gray Beard himself, didja hear about the off screen tussle he had with Sawyer recently?
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