All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues

Ode To Chlamydia

Pocahontas once said, and I quote; "The only this I still have from John Smith is Chlamydia." That's right folks, the "Silent Suffering" as it is sometimes called because an individual may suffer from this disease for a long time before realizing they even have the disease. Not only that but it is the most frequent reported STD in the US. That's right a nice festering case of "Clammy Crotch" is easier to get in the states than a picture of Tom Cruises new baby! An estimated 2.8 million cases are reported each year. The major cause of the wide spread disease is because the first symptoms usually occur anywhere from 1 to 3 weeks after contracting the disease, if at all. The first most commons symptom is a burning sensation when you go widdle. Usually this symptom is overlooked as a minor urinary tract infection and treated with water and cranberry juice. Nice if you want to mix in some alcohol and paint the town with chlamydia, not effective in treating the disease that is really causing your problem though. Now comes the fun part. Do not read on if you might get grossed out, you have been warned! I'll wait.................


Ok, you made your decision, here we go. The fun part starts when the disease spreads and causes that fun stuff we like to call discharge, or seepage. Usually this is a sign the disease has spread to the cervix, as well as the fallopian tubes and (gasp!!) possibly as far as the rectum! Keep in mind this is not exclusive to females, although they do have the highest reported cases. So guys, watch where you drill. Since the disease can be spread orally, vaginally, or analy, this disease does not care weather you are hetero or not. Yeah! Fun for everyone! In some rare cases it has also been found in the mouth and throat areas of infected partners. Now here are some of the long term problems this little bug likes to cause. First and foremost, sterility, usually in the female patients. Some men have become sterile from it but only after ignoring the burning sensation while urinating, the red swollen tip, the abdominal pain, and the swollen testes. If your ignoring all that my man, you probably shouldn't be making offspring anyway! It can cause fatal ectopic pregnancies, as well as arthritis, skin lesions, and Reiter's syndrome. It also makes females five times more susceptible to the HIV virus. Who knew? Ever see a baby born with pick eye or pneumonia? Probably cause mom had a tainted twat. That's what happens to infants when they come down the birth canal of an infected woman. What was that quote about the sins of the father? Guess you can add sins of the mother to it as well. The number one way of getting the disease is by being sexually active with more than one partner. 78% of all reported cases worldwide belong to women and girls 25 years and younger. Most cases when cured are often relapsed because they are cured but their partner or partners are not. Every time a new strain of the disease is contracted by the same person, the chances of long term complications triple. Recently Chlamydia was the title of an episode of the Denis Leary drama Rescue Me. Along with being the silent STD it is also the cruel fertility thief. And Denis Leary is a sometimes cruel fire chief. Ok, I don't see the connection but that's all I know about the episode, I don't watch the show. With that I close this entry.