There's no shortage of sad songs about rainy days and lovers who don't bring flowers. And then there are songs that truly bring the pain -- songs so despairing they can make us wonder why we even bother. Here are some little ditties so crushing, they could knock Dick Cheney to his knees.
'Nothing Compares 2 U' Sinead O'Connor (1990) The Breakdown: In this Prince-penned purple ode to an incomparable ex, there is life after love, but life really sucks. The Waterworks: "Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling/Tell me baby, where did I go wrong?" Casualty Count: One lover, seven hours, fifteen days.
'No Surprises' Radiohead (1997) The Breakdown: A killer even by Thom Yorke's bleak standards, the kiddie chimes can't hide the singer's suicidal depression. The Waterworks: "I'll take a quiet life/A handshake, some carbon monoxide." Casualty Count: One heart that's "full up like a landfill."
'Space Oddity' David Bowie (1969) The Breakdown: In the same year as our lunar landing, rock's space alien creates Major Tom, whose remains will travel the galaxy alone forever. The Waterworks: "Tell my wife I love her very much." Casualty Count: One astronaut.
'Lost Cause' Beck (2002) The Breakdown: The postmodern trickster reaches back to the Romantic era for the most depressing song on his breakup album, 'Sea Change.' The Waterworks: "I'm tired of fighting/Fighting for a lost cause." Casualty Count: The one love of your life.
'I've Gotta Get a Message to You' Bee Gees (1968) The Breakdown: Condemned man makes final plea to loved one. The Waterworks: "One more hour and my life will be through." Casualty Count: One convicted murderer with a heart of gold.
'Back to Black' Amy Winehouse (2006) The Breakdown: An ominous song of impending misery following infidelity, sung by a woman with her departing lover's name tattooed on her chest. The Waterworks: "You go back to her/And I go back to black." Casualty Count: A lover. Sobriety? Sanity?
'Shilo' Neil Diamond (1968) The Breakdown: Lonely kid turns to an imaginary friend. The Waterworks: "Papa says he'd love to be with you/If he had the time." Casualty Count: One squandered father-son relationship.
'My Mom' Chocolate Genius (1998) The Breakdown: Recent Springsteen sideman cut this heartbreaker about a return visit to his childhood home, and the mother he was losing to senility. The Waterworks: "My mom, my sweet mom/She don't remember my name." Casualty Count: One Alzheimer's victim (and one dog).
'Naked as We Came' Iron & Wine (2004) The Breakdown: Indie folkie Sam Beam's brutally sweet love song acknowledging that one always has to die before the other, plus a plug for cremation. The Waterworks: "If I leave before you, darling/Don't you waste me in the ground." Casualty Count: Your better half.
'Brick' Ben Folds Five (1997) The Breakdown: Singer recalls taking his high-school girlfriend to get an abortion -- on the day after Christmas, no less. The Waterworks: "Now that I have found someone/I'm feeling more alone/Than I ever have before." Casualty Count: One pregnancy, one first love, several Christmas presents.
'In the Real World' Roy Orbison (1989) The Breakdown: The master of pop-opera misery ('Crying,' 'It's Over') outdid himself with this quavering answer to his own 'In Dreams.' Posthumously released. The Waterworks: "I love you and you love me/But sometimes we must let it be." Casualty Count: All dreams.
'Concrete Angel' Martina McBride(2001) The Breakdown: What's more devastating than a child's headstone? The Waterworks: "A name is written on a polished rock/A broken heart that the world forgot." Casualty Count: One victim of child abuse.
'Hallelujah' Jeff Buckley (1994) The Breakdown: Leonard Cohen's existential hymn addressing an old fling becomes a heavenly, if unanswered, prayer in the hands of the ill-fated Buckley. The Waterworks: "Love is not a victory march/It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah." Casualty Count: One crisis of faith.
'He Stopped Loving Her Today' George Jones (1980) The Breakdown: Sung by the country star with the most tears in his beer this side of Hank Sr., a jilted lover carries his old flame's memory until his dying day. The Waterworks: "I went to see him just today/Oh, but I didn't see no tears/All dressed up to go away/First time I'd seen him smile in years." Casualty Count: One fatally broken
'I Know It's Over' The Smiths (1986) The Breakdown: For Morrissey, the world's loneliest singer, life isn't just over -- it never really began. The Waterworks: "As I climb into an empty bed/Oh, well, enough said." Casualty Count: One lonely soul ... any minute now.
'Hurt' Johnny Cash (2002) The Breakdown: In failing health, the great American singer tolls a death knell for the rest of us with this brutal Nine Inch Nails song about addiction and self-destruction. The Waterworks: "And you could have it all/My empire of dirt/I will let you down/I will make you hurt." Casualty Count: Everyone he knows ("goes away in the end").
'Eleanor Rigby' The Beatles (1966) The Breakdown: The cute Beatles write a timeless, devastating ode to the futility of life, set to a grieving string octet. The Waterworks: "Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name/Nobody came." Casualty Count: One spinster, one pair of socks.
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Gloomy Sunday' Billie Holiday (1941) The Breakdown: The Queen of Soul-Sapping is haunted about losing a loved one. The Waterworks: "Angels have no thought of returning you/Would they be angry if I thought of joining you?" Casualty Count: One woman's will to live.
'Tell Laura I Love Her' Ray Peterson (1960) The Breakdown: Tommy raced his car at the track to get the $1,000 prize to buy Laura a wedding ring. Only he died on the track: The Waterworks: "As they pulled him from the twisted wreck/On his dying breath they heard him say/'Tell Laura I love her/Tell Laura I need her/Tell Laura not to cry/My love for her will never die." Casualty Count: Tommy and Laura's $1,000 wedding ring down the tubes.
'Patches' Clarence Carter (1970) In less than four minutes, Patches loses his father, mother, the farm, and I think the dog dies. Oh, and he has to quit school to support his siblings.
'I Can't Make You Love Me' Bonnie Raitt (1991) The Breakdown: There's nothing sadder in the world than loving someone who doesn't love you in return. The Waterworks: "Here in the dark in these final hours/I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power/But you won't, no you won't." Casualty Count: One unrequited love.
'Last Kiss' Pearl Jam (1999) (originally made popular by J. Frank Wilson) The Breakdown: Teenager hits stalled car in the road and kills his girlfriend in the collision ... gives her a last kiss as she dies. The Waterworks: Pick any line after the first chorus and go with that! Casualty Count: Another Teenage in Love, maybe this guy should go look for Laura, since she's like, not got anything to do.)
'Everybody Hurts' R.E.M. (1992) The Breakdown: If the saying is true that it's always darkest before the dawn, well this song is clearly taking place well before daybreak. Whenever I need a good cry this is the song I reach for. The Waterworks: 'If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long/When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on/ Well, everybody hurts sometimes' Casualty Count: A lot of tears.
'Seasons in the Sun' Terry Jacks (1974) The Breakdown: Young guy dying and saying goodbye to everyone. The Waterworks: "Goodbye, Papa, please pray for me/I was the black sheep of the family." Casualty Count: One young guy, lots of wine, lots of seasons, lots of joy, ah, you get the idea.
'The Christmas Shoes' NewSong (2000) The Breakdown: A little boy who wants to buy Christmas shoes for his dying mother, so that she could wear them when she meets Jesus. The Waterworks: Daddy says there's not much time/You see, she's been sick for quite a while/And I know these shoes will make her smile/And I want her to look beautiful/If Momma meets Jesus tonight. Casualty Count: One little boys mother and his enjoyment of Christmas, probably, for the rest of his life.
'Alone Again (Naturally)' Gilbert O'Sullivan (1972) The Breakdown: A guy on his way to jump off to his death after being stood up by his bride on his wedding day (and a whole lot of other issues) can suck the life out of any optimist. The Waterworks: 'Leaving me to doubt all about God and His mercy/For if He really does exist why did He desert me in my hour of need?/I truly am indeed, alone again, naturally' Casualty Count: The jilted lover, faith in God, his father, and his mother, and lots of broken hearts.
'Cat's in the Cradle' Harry Chapin (1974) Th Breakdown: Father works his whole life and never spends time with son. Then when his son grows up, he never visits his father. Kinda like "Shilo Part 2". The Waterworks: 'And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me/He'd grown up just like me/My boy was just like me'
'Tears in Heaven' Eric Clapton (1992) The Breakdown: Inspired by the death of his five-year-old son, who died falling from a hotel window. What can top that? The Waterworks: 'I must be strong, and carry on/Cause I know I don't belong/Here in heaven' Casualty Count: Connor Clapton.
5 comments:
So. . .what?!? The Rodeo Song doesn't bring a tear to your eye anymore?!?!? MY WEDDING SONG??!?!?!!!!!
Um. . .I'll leave a REAL comment later.
And at least that means there's no more feckin' BASEBALL on your blog.
At the top anyway.
OK a REAL real comment later.
OK OK A spectacularly interesting post, I must say. But don't think that makes up for the baseball thing.
Of course, you neglected to mention the saddest, most depressing song ever written: First Christmas by Stan Rogers. If that don't make you wanna bite through your wrists, I don't know what will.
Oh yes, and you forgot the 5th Dimension's "If I Could Reach You" which is also candidate for the saddest song ever.
Say. . .do I have to steal this idea for my OWN blog?!?!???
You just might haveta. And I got more different lists, all song related, coming soon.
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