Further Instructions

Okay, I hereby declare there has been enough fucking around. By yours truly as well as the writers, and producers of Lost. With that in mind, I have been digging and talking and searching and digging some more and made some connections and have come up with a possible spoiler connection for my favorite show - Lost. With that all being said there are some possible major spoilers listed below. So if you don't wanna know, don't read anymore. Let's start with tonight's episode The Man From Tallahassee. First, as everyone should already know is a Locke episode. No, I'm sorry, it's not a Locke episode; it is The Locke episode that everyone has been waiting for. We find out how Locke ended up in the wheelchair. Okay, this is your final warning the spoilers commence in the next paragraph.

My inside sources tell me this much about tonight's episode, and it's a lot. The flashback begins with Locke's father making wedding plans with a woman he is currently conning. Apparently the woman is worth quite a bit of money and Cooper (that's Locke's fathers name) is about to marry her. Her son, whose name is Peter Talbot (sp?), is concerned that Cooper is trying to bilk his mother out of her fortune and speaks to Locke about it. Locke goes and tells Cooper about this and asks him to call off the wedding or he will blow the whistle on him. Cooper agrees. Later, Locke get a knock on his door. Two FBI agents show up at his place asking questions about him and his connection to Peter Talbot since he was found dead with Locke's name on a piece of paper in his pocket. Locke goes to Cooper's home and questions him about it. Cooper swears he's not a murdered, that he was just after some of the woman's money. Turns out she is worth 200 million. Cooper says John got his wish as the wedding is off because of the woman's son dying. Locke asks his father "If I call her that's what she will say?" Cooper responds by telling Locke, "The phone's right there.". As John asks what the number is Cooper pushes Locke out of an eighth story window. The resulting fall breaks John's back. (So that's how he ended up in the wheelchair.) Now flashing forward to the island - Sayid, Kate, and Locke see Jack playing football. Juliet comes out and talks to him. Sayid says "Maybe Jack doesn't need saving." Jack and Juliet walk to a house and Juliet enters. Jack waits outside for ... Ben to come out in a wheelchair. Jack and Ben shake hands. Locke says, "This might be harder than we thought." Later that night, after a failed attempt to free Jack, Sayid and Kate are captured by the Others. Jack tells Kate she shouldn't have come back for him, that he has made a deal with the Others and he is leaving the island in the morning on the submarine. He tells her he will come back for her and he leaves the room. Meanwhile ... Ben wakes up and hears someone in his room, it's Locke with a gun aimed at Ben. Ben tells Locke he will tell him where Jack is. Locke tells him that he is not there for Jack, he's there for the submarine. Alex enters the room and Locke grabs her as he hears Tom approaching. Locke pulls her into a closet as he hears Tom tell Ben about Sayid and Kate. Ben replies by saying, "Get me the man from Tallahassee.", and Tom leaves. Locke wants his backpack and Ben sends Alex to get it. Ben blabbers something about wanting his dignity and asks John to put him in his wheelchair. He also tells Locke he knows about Locke being in a wheelchair and he knows how he got there. He then tells Locke he knows he probably found the explosives and wants to blow up the submarine. Ben tells Locke how hard it was not talking to John about his ability to walk again while being held prisoner in the hatch. Ben asks some questions about the plane crash and when John got the use of his legs back, and how painful it must have been. Alex goes and gets the pack which is near Sayid. Sayid tells Alex she looks like her mother. Alex says "My mother is dead.". Back to Ben telling Locke that if he blows up the sub, he (Ben) will have problems with his people. Ben's people want to be there but they like to know they can leave whenever they want. If John blows up the sub that illusion will disappear. (Illusion? Apparently Ben doesn't think he could let them leave whenever they wanted, hence he wants Locke to blow up the sub.) Ben goes on to tell Locke that somewhere on the island is a box and that inside that box is anything that he could imagine. Whatever he wanted to be in there would be in there when he opened the box. (He also takes a poke at Locke by saying "You know something about boxes, don't you John?" making reference to John working at the box company. The one Hurley just happens to own, I might add.) "What would you say about that John?" To which Locke responds (and this is a good line) "I'd say I hope that box is big enough for you to imagine yourself up a new sub." They then have words over Locke's anger and about Ben and the Others "cheating". Then Ben tells Locke about Jack's deal to get off the island. Alex then leads Locke to the sub and Alex tells him Ben wants John to blow up the sub. "My dad is manipulating you. He makes you think it is your idea, but it's his." Locke responds by saying, "I'll keep that in mind.", as he laves to go blow up the sub. Danielle is in the bushes watching all of this but makes no attempt to make contact with Alex. Jack and Juliet go to see Ben. Jack asks Ben to let his friends go. "I’ll let them go as soon as your off the island, you have my word.", Ben tells him. Juliette thanks Ben for keeping his promises. Jack, Juliet, and some others run into Locke at the pier just before they are about to leave. Jack asks Locke what he’s doing there to which Locke replies "Sorry Jack." Jack- "Sorry for what?"

BOOM

The sub explodes and Jack looks mad.

Locke is handcuffed to some plumbing in a boiler type room. The man who recruited Juliette (I guess the one from Mittleos, my connection means) and Ben open the door.
Locke-"You don’t have to pretend your disappointed. I know you wanted me to blow up the sub."
Ben tells the recruiter to uncuff him.
Ben- "Remember when you called me a cheater? I never wanted to let Jack and Juliet go because it was a sign of weakness and failure but I also couldn't go back on my word and kill them because that would have been cheating and I would have lost my power over the others. Then you came walking out of the jungle to make my dream come true. (He said something similar to Jack about his tumor and Jack falling from the sky.)

Locke-"You’re not gonna start talking about the magic box again are you?"

Ben- "No John I’m gonna show you what came out of it. When I asked you if it hurt I wasn’t talking about physical pain. How did it feel that your father tried to kill you?

Locke-"You wanna know if it hurt my feelings?"

Ben- "I know you’re afraid. That’s why you don’t want to leave, you're hiding and this is the one place he can never find you. You have some type of communion with this island John and that makes you very special. I want to help you."

Locke- "Why?"

Ben- "Because I’m in a wheelchair and you're not. Are you ready to see what was in the box?"

Cooper is sitting tied to a chair with duct tape over his mouth!

Locke-"Dad?"

Crash to black.

Wow! Locke's father on the island? Well we shall see if my connection is right or not. Either this is gonna be a big spoiler for us all or it's a load of horse hockey. I can however promise you this; that if my informant is right, look for a death of a character next week. Hopefully there will be more to come. Enjoy!

Strawberry Spring

Mother Nature Does What She Does Best ...

And Fucks With Us! Again!

It's been a week of weird. This time last week I was out walking the dog around the block and thinking maybe I should have worn shorts. It was 72 freakin' degrees. Then as I am puttering around the old homestead I notice on the news that they are talking about snow. Surely they must mean somewhere else. Certainly not around here. I was wrong. Friday comes and it seems like a normal Friday morning in mid-March (as normal as that can be around here). Rain in the forecast and then a change over to sleet, freezing rain and possibly snow. Still in disbelief I snickered to myself. I usually only snicker to myself, I don't snicker well so I don't want too many people seeing it. Now guffawing, I do that well and am happy to do so en mass. Back to my story. Somewhere during the morning on Friday, I go outside for break and it has already started. Rain with a little sleet mixed in. Not thinking this was a big deal I wondered if this was what they were all in a tizzy over. Shortly after noon, I took my second break. What a difference. The rain had changed entirely over to sleet and was beginning to accumulate. A stiff wind was blowing and the temperature felt like it had dropped ten degrees since I had came to work at 6 am. I popped on the radio inside of the Cheeksmobile and the current "slizzard" was all the rage. El Nino, slizzard, rain event, and all those other "new" weather terms can kiss my ass. What the hell is a rain event? Who schedules these and how do we get tickets? It was at this time I decided I was going to skip lunch and leave early. At 2:00 I left work and decided to tool around town to do a few errands. What a stupid idea this was. But I did them none the less. I got home a little before 4:00 and took out the "Pupper" he's 2 and a half but he's still a puppy to me. He didn't like it much either. So we quickly returned home. My apartment is on the second floor, which usually works out well when we have downstairs neighbors and it's cold outside. Unfortunately our downstairs neighbors moved out at the beginning of February. So it's been nearly impossible to keep our apartment warm for a month. It was nice last week, we even had windows open. But Strawberry Spring is only an illusion created by nature, it's like Indian Summer only with an attitude. For me, Indian Summer is really nice, most of those days are how I would like it to be all year round. Nice 70 degree days in late October are awesome only we know they won't last and soon the days will be cooler and eventually get cold when winter comes around. Strawberry Spring is a vicious bitch. It comes around and says; "Hey, this is nice, isn't it? Pretty warm, man are those legs white. It'll be spring soon, and then summer and you should really start to work on your tan so as not to frighten the young or elderly away with those legs that only you and the undead seem to be able to sport. Well, gotta go. Oh and Old Man Winter says he really hates you, but he doesn't have to tell you that, you'll know by Friday." And so I did. But it got me a day off work, yeah I called out Saturday. So screw off Strawberry Spring and you can eat my ass Old Man Winter. You both deserve each other. Now if I can find out who had the idea to change the clocks in the middle of March instead of the old way we used to do it, well, him and I need to have a talk. March, in like a lion out like a lamb can blow me. That's a stupid saying, and a tattoo of it is even more stupid. But that's another story entirely.

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame???

This week the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (as questionable as that may be of a name now) inducted the class of 2007. Included in this years honorees are/is R.E.M (deserved but perhaps a little bit early they haven't had nearly enough reunion tours), The Ronnetts (Ronnie Spector lead singer and wife of Phil, their producer were the group responsible for "Be My Baby", "Baby I Love You", and a lot of other songs with Baby in the title from the '60s.), Patti Smith (the Poet Laureate of the feminist movement in punk rock as well as a Glassboro State College dropout), Van Halen (aside from being one of my favorites, which probably carried little weight in the decision to put them in, they are also in the Guinness Book of World Records for most number one hits on the Billboard Mainstream Rock List as well as fifth on the list for album sales by rock bands. The top four being Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Pink Floyd and Def Leppard.) With that being said, it's all a big sham because I left one honouree out. Grandmaster Flash. Now I don't have a problem with his art per se, just the fact that he is in the RNRHOF I find highly suspicious. By description alone he should be discounted, he is a hip-hop musician and DJ not a rock musician or artist. Beyond that fact, I also find it odd that while Grandmaster Flash is being inducted, which let me point out "White Lines" and "The Message"are two of the best and most ground breaking songs in rap history, they are that, rap. However the Moody Blues and Rush are still not in the RNRHOF. So what gives?
Perhaps the main criticism is that the nomination process is controlled by so few. Three of which are founder Jann Wenner, former foundation director Suzan Evans, and writer Dave Marsh, and the inductees are reflected in their tastes rather than the views of the rock world as a whole. A former member of the nominations board once said:

"At one point Suzan Evans lamented the choices being made because there weren't enough big names that would sell tickets to the dinner. That was quickly remedied by dropping one of the doo-wop groups being considered in favor of a 'name' artist ... I saw how certain pioneering artists of the 50s and early 60s were shunned because there needed to be more name power on the list, resulting in 70s superstars getting in before the people who made it possible for them. Some of those pioneers still aren't in today — but Queen is."

Petitions with tens of thousands of signatures were also being ignored and some groups that were signed with certain labels or companies or were affiliated with various committee members have even been put up for nomination with no discussion at all.

Another criticism is that too many artists are inducted, allowing for several lesser acts to make it in. In fifteen years, 97 different artists have been inducted. A minimum of 50% of the vote is needed to be inducted, although the final percentages are not announced and a certain number of inductees (5 in 2007) is set before the ballots are shipped.

The Sex Pistols, inducted in 2006, refused to attend the ceremony, calling the museum a "piss stain."


Perhaps the Sex Pistols were correct, but we should have known it was going to be a joke since they chose Cleveland over Philadelphia for the site in the first place. I know Cleveland is the better choice, oh sure Philadelphia had "Bandstand" and was the place where much of the early days of Rock and Roll was rooted in but compared to Cleveland which was where... um ... Rock and Roll in Cleveland is ... well it was where ... oh, I'll go think about it and get back to you on that one.

More Evidence

The Glass Ballerina

There we are, David and I, in our blurry glory. Every four or five weeks, depending on the time of year, I get to go see "My David". He loves it when I call him that! I say depending on the time of year because my hair grows faster in the warmer months so I go more frequent then. David is my personal hair stylist. About 10 years ago give or take I moved to The Shade of the Mighty Maple and eventually grew tired of driving nearly a half hour to get my hair cut. Even though I used to go to Gullo's in Marlton and yes, the girls were hot there I needed to go somewhere closer. After Gullo's changed ownership, in part I believe due to a divorce settlement, it changed location, management, as well as prices and stylists. The girl I usually got quit and went to work in Medford which is even further away. The prices went up and I couldn't find a stylist I liked. Although it was in Gullo's that I got my first man induced erection, so I guess the prices weren't the only thing that went up, but I digress. During a time when I was driving around town, I noticed a place called Shear Energy. I decided to stop in to get a hair cut. Thus bloomed the 10 year love fest with "My David". I have never had anyone style my hair the way he does. The straddling my knee while he trims my beard aside, they are after all only perks, he throws that in for free with the service. I've been a client of David through his becoming a widower when his partner died as well as almost loosing him. It was a spring morning somewhere around 2001 that David awoke with an incredible head ache. All it did was worsen and soon he was in the Emergency Room with a brain hemorrhage. He was lucky to be alive. I was told about it the day after it happened when I went for my normal appointment. At the time they still didn't know if he was going to make it. I was crushed. Not only was a friend of mine gravely ill and I was concerned for his health but where the hell was I gonna get my Doo done now? For almost one year (I think that's how long it was anyway) I suffered through someone else cutting my hair, I almost considered going back to Gullo's but the drive was not worth it so I stayed with Shear Energy. One day I walked into Shear Energy and to my surprise there stood David behind a styling chair. He was back. A little thinner (now since corrected), and still a bit weak but it was David. Happily, we are still together. I love hearing all his stories about his love life (but I fear he's turning into a video chat room Floozie) and he loves hearing all of my rough around the edges redneck stories (my metro sexual ones too, even though he tells me metro is now out). Oh, and in case you are wondering yes, that is my hand on his ass in the picture, and my girlfriend took the picture. Not sure what that says about her?!?!

Fave Foto Friday

OK so this is my first shot at getting on Pax's FFF so with that I offer this little entry:

The Creature Walks Among Us!!

That's right, you heard it here first folks, it's official, The Creature really does walk among us! And he might be running for Mayor of Philadelphia, for Christ's sake!! I submit the following pictures as well as the previous film captures as 100% proof that I am not making this up! I present to you Milton Street otherwise known as The Creature!
If that's not proof enough, I have the next one that I like to call "The Snake in the Mailbox" picture. This one was snapped right in my neck of the woods just after he posted bail for being arrested for tax evasion but right before he went on a crazed rampage and killed four innocent bystanders and took one unsuspecting woman hostage (The Creature has a habit of doing this if you have seen the movies.)

In fact after this, I am hesitant to call them "movies" now, they may just turn out to be early documentaries of the rise to power of The Creature. I almost wanna move to Philadelphia so I can vote for whoever has the courage to run against this monster. Somehow I have a bad feeling this may be the beginning of the end. God, if your listening, please help!!

(Some of the facts may have been exaggerated for dramatic effect. In other words, no, he didn't really kill anyone and didn't do any kidnapping either.)