Strawberry Spring

Mother Nature Does What She Does Best ...

And Fucks With Us! Again!

It's been a week of weird. This time last week I was out walking the dog around the block and thinking maybe I should have worn shorts. It was 72 freakin' degrees. Then as I am puttering around the old homestead I notice on the news that they are talking about snow. Surely they must mean somewhere else. Certainly not around here. I was wrong. Friday comes and it seems like a normal Friday morning in mid-March (as normal as that can be around here). Rain in the forecast and then a change over to sleet, freezing rain and possibly snow. Still in disbelief I snickered to myself. I usually only snicker to myself, I don't snicker well so I don't want too many people seeing it. Now guffawing, I do that well and am happy to do so en mass. Back to my story. Somewhere during the morning on Friday, I go outside for break and it has already started. Rain with a little sleet mixed in. Not thinking this was a big deal I wondered if this was what they were all in a tizzy over. Shortly after noon, I took my second break. What a difference. The rain had changed entirely over to sleet and was beginning to accumulate. A stiff wind was blowing and the temperature felt like it had dropped ten degrees since I had came to work at 6 am. I popped on the radio inside of the Cheeksmobile and the current "slizzard" was all the rage. El Nino, slizzard, rain event, and all those other "new" weather terms can kiss my ass. What the hell is a rain event? Who schedules these and how do we get tickets? It was at this time I decided I was going to skip lunch and leave early. At 2:00 I left work and decided to tool around town to do a few errands. What a stupid idea this was. But I did them none the less. I got home a little before 4:00 and took out the "Pupper" he's 2 and a half but he's still a puppy to me. He didn't like it much either. So we quickly returned home. My apartment is on the second floor, which usually works out well when we have downstairs neighbors and it's cold outside. Unfortunately our downstairs neighbors moved out at the beginning of February. So it's been nearly impossible to keep our apartment warm for a month. It was nice last week, we even had windows open. But Strawberry Spring is only an illusion created by nature, it's like Indian Summer only with an attitude. For me, Indian Summer is really nice, most of those days are how I would like it to be all year round. Nice 70 degree days in late October are awesome only we know they won't last and soon the days will be cooler and eventually get cold when winter comes around. Strawberry Spring is a vicious bitch. It comes around and says; "Hey, this is nice, isn't it? Pretty warm, man are those legs white. It'll be spring soon, and then summer and you should really start to work on your tan so as not to frighten the young or elderly away with those legs that only you and the undead seem to be able to sport. Well, gotta go. Oh and Old Man Winter says he really hates you, but he doesn't have to tell you that, you'll know by Friday." And so I did. But it got me a day off work, yeah I called out Saturday. So screw off Strawberry Spring and you can eat my ass Old Man Winter. You both deserve each other. Now if I can find out who had the idea to change the clocks in the middle of March instead of the old way we used to do it, well, him and I need to have a talk. March, in like a lion out like a lamb can blow me. That's a stupid saying, and a tattoo of it is even more stupid. But that's another story entirely.