No, it's not an atomic carrot out for world domination, but it might as well be. This could be an early prototype for Sigmund and the Sea Monsters or it might be the Kool Aid guy gone wrong. Well, guess I don't have to take many jabs at It Conquered the World, that would be like shooting fish in a barrel. But I do it anyway. I mean just look at it! Let's move on. 
Or not. Here is the driftwood demon. That's right the monster is made of wood. According to the natives it's actually called Tabonga, whatever the hell that means. He's not as funny as the cosmic carrot nor is he as disturbing as the talking trees from Oz. Tabonga is nicely imaginative, in fact, until it is called upon to move, and then it... well, it looks like somebody wearing a sheet of sculpted foam for Christ's sake. Whoever is inside the suit is forced to move very stiffly (only fair if you're supposed to be made of wood, I guess) and the few times when he attempts to bend over to pick up a victim are truly pathetic. We must rely instead on the quick cutaway, during which the victim magically flies into the Tabonga's arms. Still, if you see only one walking killer tree movie this year, this one should probably be it. Moving on... 
...to a giant googly eyed turkey. Actually what it's suppose to be is (I hope you're ready for this) A GIGANTIC ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD, HEHEHEHEHE! (I get the giggles every time saying that.) Scientists discover why the bird is impervious to our weapons, it generates a antimatter shield! Oh yes! And it came to Earth to nest! Oh yes! Well, the concept was not arrived upon by a infinite number of monkeys after a infinite amount of time. I believe there was one retarded lemur with two or three etch-a-sketches. Here's a few things I've learned from this movie which is called The Giant Claw by the way: A dead man can walk and "scoot over." New Jersey seems to breed giant birds, or at least people think so. Scientific instruments explode when they don't work. It looks like the vulture played by Frank Gorshin in Rudolph's shiny New Year now that I look at it again. And giggle. 
Bumbler... what happened? Oh no! Everyone run! It's the Killer Shrews. That's right, it's a horde of dogs wearing carpet remnants and they are eating everything. Supposedly they are giant rodents created by an experiment gone wrong. I shouldn't have to explain how funny it is to watch somebody scream in terror at a Collie wearing carpet remnants. The pooch is obviously doing the "happy dog" and expecting a belly rub in half these scenes, it's just good stuff. And finally that takes us to...
Now when you first look at this you probably think it's an octopus destroying the Golden Gate Bridge, well you would be half right. It is the bridge in San Francisco, but it's not an octopus, it's a sextapus. To cut costs for the movie the director had effects people cut off two of the legs. Here's the deal; An "Octopus" that has undergone an atomic mutation now attacks San Francisco and comes to prey on man instead of fish. Boy Roy Harryhausen movies have pretty much one plot. Something terrorizes someone somewhere, killing a few people, a couple scientists work with the military and develop a weapon which eventually destroys the thing, and someone falls in love with someone else (but usually not the monster or whatever). I don't know about you but this type of thing has to stop. They are hell on the carpet.
2 comments:
You big nelly! You forgot to mention the titles of half the fillums you talked about. How is people like Leonard Maltin supposed to know what fillums you're talking about when you don't mention the name of the fillums?!?
It may surprise you to know that I've never seen IT CONQUERED THE WORLD or that Driftwood Demon movie (although DRIFTWOOD DEMON would probably be a better title for it). I'm also sure you know the story of the first day on the set of IT CONQUERED THE WORLD when leading lady Beverly Garland (what a great broad!) took one look at the "monster", went up to it and simply kicked it over. Then Roger Corman decided they better give it more height. Which they did. But it's still silly!
But ohmigod, THE KILLER SHREWS is one of the most boring movies ever made! Once you get over the initial funniness of the pooches with cardboard fangs and Empire Carpets on their backs -- and the fact that the leading man is Roscoe P. Coltrane -- it's a snooze fest. WARNING: ONLY WATCH THIS MOVIE IN THE MST3K VERSION!
Oh, sorry, the Driftwood Demon is from the movie "From Hell It Came" and the Sextapus is from "It Came From Beneath the Sea". Yes I did know about the monsters in It Conquered the World. The addition to the monstes is what made them into the coneheads. You can still see the line where they were supposed to stop before. Yes the Killer Shrews is awlfully boring I've only watched it twice all the way through. All of the movies I have mentioned I have seen some more than once and some in the original form and in the MST3K version. For most of these the latter version is better thanks to Tom Servo et. al.
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